The myth of the nuclear family

11:56 AM

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Mark Steel is always delightful to read:
The myth of the nuclear family

He says:
NO MATTER how far society moves from the "traditional" family, we still seem determined to impose it on all history. I went to the Viking museum in York a while ago, in which there were models of a supposedly typical Viking family, in which Viking dad was working while Viking mum was making dinner in a pot and the Viking kids played with a Viking dog and cat. They should have had a commentary, with the dad saying "Hello darling, I've had such a hard day at the pillaging office, that darned South-West division missed their target yet again, they've barely massacred more than three villages since the new tax year."


I have kind of a nerdism for "traditional family values", and if you do too, I suggest you read three books:

The Way We Never Were by Stephanie Coontz
- to be fair, I haven't read this one yet!

The Way We Really Are by Stephanie Coontz
- I read this, and it was amazing. It goes through the history of the family, and how the nuclear family was not only a passing phase, it was barely even common except on 50's television shows. Besides the interesting history and politics of it all, I actually found this book to be comforting in a number of personal ways, as it gave a lot of explanation as to why my family is the way it is and why I am the way I am.

Marriage, a History by Stephanie Coontz
This is also spectacular and revealing. Have you ever thought about the fact that when marriage was a new(ish) thing, saying "forever" meant probably another 15 years?

Hmm, I guess I really like Stephanie Coontz!

Iris Star Chamberlain

Homophobic Minorities, Racist Homosexuals, Divide & Conquer, Oh My!

10:07 AM

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I guess the title says it all. First the story is that homophobic blacks are to blame for the passing of prop 8. Now people are saying there's a backlash from the GLBT community of racism. My first reaction to all of this is and has been, "Are you kidding?! Don't you people understand that ALL bigotry is bad?" I mean can you say "hypocrite"? But as will all the rest of the spectacle we've seen during election fever, I'm wondering if these flames aren't perhaps being fanned by the paranoid or the media.

I have to admit that I'm one of the people who flipped over hearing that women who were once Hillary fans were deciding to support Palin. As far as I know, people like this did exist (I read a blog and heard about a fairly large/loud group), but it certainly wasn't everyone, and as my smart friend Carolyn suggested, spreading the idea makes all women look bad.

So I have to wonder, where is all this coming from? I still think it's really backwards that any black person could find themselves voting for the removal of another minority's equality, or that anyone in the GLBT community could find themselves spewing racial slurs. Surely on some level this happens, but perhaps it's not as big as it's being made out to be. The ideas certainly make African Americans and the American GLBT community look BAD, which is GOOD for some people. Who benefits? This is divide and conquer whether we're bringing it upon ourselves or whether it's being passed down to us by the media or some other group. We NEED TO WORK TOGETHER if we're going to liberate ourselves from any kind of oppression. I encourage anyone (including myself) to keep an open mind and attentive ears about this story, and not to denounce all blacks for their betrayal, or all GLBT for their betrayal. At risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist.... "because that's what they want us to do".

Iris Star Chamberlain

As though a message sent by god... haha just kidding

4:22 PM

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No but seriously, after writing the last entry I found myself watching Jonathan Haidt's TED video again about the difference between liberals and conservatives. I just discovered that he has other projects, including a site called CivilPolitics.org, and I'm so glad to see him suggesting compromise as well, rather than simply black and white solutions.

Jonathan says,
"At a time when America faces enormous challenges at home and dangers abroad, our ability to work together, trust each other, and compromise for the common good is declining. Surveys show that Americans are not moving further apart in their attitudes about specific policy issues. Instead our leaders, our political parties, and our media outlets have become more polarized, strident, and moralistic (i.e., excessively concerned with morality and certain of their own virtue). When political opponents are demonized rather than debated, compromise and cooperation become moral failings and political actors begin to believe that their ends justify the use of any means."


In general, I've been trying (sometimes harder than others) to follow his "code of ethics" concerning debating with other people, although I have to admit I find it hard sometimes. I don't totally understand the psychology of argument (why do we get so angry when we talk about politics?) and surely I have some unique problems to deal with (serious aversion to conflict, lots of self doubt), but I can say I've been trying. If I wasn't open to the idea that conservatives can be "good" people too, I would be going against my assertion that personal responsibility is a small factor in our lives.

I mean yes, I hate people who hate. People who spew bigoted nonsense that hurts others REALLY bother me. I think it's really messed up, stupid, and reprehensible. At the same time though, I can hardly blame people for coming to conclusions that they've been raised with. How can they begin to think outside of their own morals if that nudge, whatever form it may show up as, never comes?

Iris Star Chamberlain

The Tyranny of the Majority

2:53 PM

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I'm only just starting to think about this, so this is a dipping-my-toes entry, but I already find it really fascinating.

This past weekend I was learning about how Anarchists prefer total concensus decision-making, meaning that EVERYONE has to agree on a decision (which was called actually, "the tyranny of one", as one single person has all the power to stop a decision from being made). To socialists this seems like a great way to waste time.

Marxist Socialists are into democratic centralism, which Lenin called "freedom of discussion, unity of action" and is basically democratic majority rule. So you discuss, you vote, and then you agree (by being there in the first place) to work together to go forward with the decision. If it doesn't work, you learn from your mistakes, reassess, and try again. This makes sense to me, but an Anarchist would argue that it doesn't satisfy the needs/desires of everyone, which would be the most fair thing to do.

Capitalism is also interesting. Joel Waldfogel talks about this in his article, "If the shoe doesn't fit, blame the tyranny of the market". He quotes Milton Friedman,
"The characteristic feature of action through political channels is that it tends to require or enforce substantial conformity. The great advantage of the market is that it permits wide diversity. Each man can vote, as it were, for the color of tie he wants and get it; he does not have to see what color the majority wants and then, if he is in the minority, submit."

Waldfogel's reply:
"Free-market economists have told us for decades that we should rely on market decisions, not the government, to meet our needs, because it's the market that satisfies everyone's every desire, [but] for small groups with preferences outside the norm, the market often fails to deliver."

Which is absolutely true in a number of ways. Even considering something as trivial as fashion, in my experience, every once in awhile something comes out and you think, "awesome! I've been wanting one of these for a long time!", but when you did want them, what could you do to get one but make it yourself?

The market offers everyone health insurance, but a lot of people simply can't afford it. The market offers me tons of food options, but until recently, most of them were incredibly unhealthy. Even now while the market is changing to a more health-conscious state of mind, I still find it almost impossible to find a restaurant with normal proportions or a creative veggie menu.

Some people argue that because the market follows trends it gives us everything we need, and if it didn't, it wouldn't survive. This argument starts to crumble when considering the fact that most products are things we DON'T NEED but were convinced that we do in order that someone make a buck off our suffering egos. Similarly, it's argued that everyone is satisfied under Capitalism because we have SO MANY CHOICES! The problem with this is that even the choices we have are limited by the status quo - I don't need 17 different kinds of tampons, I just need one that won't give me TSS (I've never yet seen an unbleached tampon or an alternative on a chain supermarket shelf). I don't need 500 kinds of eyeliner, I just need the kind that won't give me cancer.

The American "democratic" two-party system is a similar problem.
America: "Would you like the hamburger with cheese, or without?"
Sally: "Uh, I don't eat meat..."
America: "Well if you don't eat one of them, you're unpatriotic for not participating in the system".

Yeah, that's how I feel about a lot of things. But anyway, back to the Tyranny of the Majority.

I think it would be great to have a system in which the voice of the majority actually matters, and once the vote has been made (in whatever context), the needs or wants of the losers should be considered. Compromises and additional solutions should be looked into. I think this will only work however, in a society and culture where people are valued over profit (yes of course I favor the socialist path).

Our next president, Barack Obama, is against gay marriage. Although a majority voted him in knowing thatl, I disagree that we should enact legislation against equality for the GLBT community. I think something like this wouldn't be a problem if we existed in a system that refused to oppress minorities for any reason, even at the behest of the majority.

Iris Star Chamberlain

What I learned at the Northwest Socialist Conference

4:43 PM

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I learned a lot at this year's Northwest Socialist Conference. Since this blog still has no defined audience but myself, parts of this may only be interesting if you know me. For the format I'll just go ahead and do a play-by-play notetaking direction.

Mike Davis' talk about the Economy
Mike asserted something I'd never heard before - that the New Deal did not succeed and what actually saved the economy was the second world war. Similarly, he says that the cold war gave us 20 years of high level military spending which offered a permanent stimulus for the economy, and had similar analyses of other wars in this century. This left me asking: Can Capitalism survive without war?

Shaun Harkin opens the conference
I didn't take notes and I don't think there's a video of it but this guy always does such a good job of summing things up and getting everyone excited. Plus he's nice. Plus he has a huge Irish accent and pronounces power as "pyoower". Love it.
For a good time, check out his talk about 1968, the Year of Revolt »

Kate Johnson's talk on Imperialism
On a similar note to the above question, Kate suggests that capitalism can't survive without the military. Quoting someone I've forgot she says that the "hidden hand" of the market needs a "hidden fist" behind it. Sort of like Chuck Norris' beard.

Skipping everything else and going straight to the evening session on Saturday night, I have to say that this panel of 7 people was absolutely mindblowing. It was informative, incredibly touching, sometimes funny, but more importantly it really brought a variety of areas together on one stage and brought all of those fights to the audience. I've read their stories on the web, but actually seeing these people and hearing about their struggles is incredibly powerful. Even moreso it touches me personally to see people who aren't socialists be willing to come to a socialist event and even to thank the ISO (International Socialist Organization) for being the only group to reach out and support them. It's a really special thing to really know that a group you're involved in is actually making a difference. The speakers benefitted as well, networking with and helping eachother.

On to the lessons...

Don Grinde
A 31-year crane operator at Boeing and a veteran union activist in the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers.
The 57-day Boeing strike of the IAM union this year told us stories of brave workers, union solidarity and yet more nasty strikebreaking tactics. Even though the IAM didn't win everything they were hoping for in this contract, Don says that this was a win for workers because they succeeded in empowering themselves, instilling ideas of solidarity into the junior workers, and cost Boeing a ton of money showing exactly what kind of power the workers of the world have. Moral? It's all about the journey. Oh and when you're feeling uncertain, rent a helicopter.
Watch a video of Don's talk »

Elizabeth Fawthrop
University of Washington Campus Anti-War Network (CAN)
Liz presents the always-astounding facts about student involvement in the history of the antiwar movement. Marxism states that workers have the most power to change society through revolution, but it's undeniable how much impact students have had in the past. Four million students protested the events at Kent State.
Watch a video of Elizabeth's talk »

Tim Harris
Executive Director of Real Change News in Seattle
Tim gave a shockingly good talk. I say that because I've been obsessed with homelessness since I arrived in Seattle and finally faced it directly, and in that time I've never heard anyone speak so intelligently about it. Tim calls homelessness the "structural dislocation" of people, which happens when there are surplus people in the global economy. He noted that when there's an expectation that people will be needed, funding for social programs mysteriously rises, but during other times, people are "thrown to the wolves". Consider the jail system and the war on drugs in this context. Drugs he says, are the perfect commodity - they provide both oblivion and financial gain. I've found it hard myself even to blame addicts for being homeless, refusing to ignore the truth that it's incredibly stressful at the bottom, but Tim puts it so eloquently. At what point do we stop pointing to the red blinking sign that says "personal responsibility"?
Watch a video of Tim's talk »

Allen Bradley
One of the Freightliner Five, members of the bargaining committee of United Auto Workers Local 3520 in Cleveland, N.C. who were terminated after leading a legal walkout at a Freightliner truck plant after their labor contract had expired. Three still haven't been reinstated.
Allen had an astounding story. Workers fired unexpectedly by a company AND a union set against them for engaging in legal union activity. The tactics used have just been NASTY. Allen read touching and encouraging letters from the other four, and there were thanks all around to the ISO for taking an interest in their case. By the end of the talk, the ISO led a solidarity chant and Don Grinde announced that the proceeds for his strike photograph prints ($25 each and meant to go to the union) would be donated to the Freightliner Five cause. We were just about in tears in the audience.
Watch a video of Alan's talk »

James Bible
President of the Seattle/King County NAACP
James's talk was really thought-provoking and experiencing him was like watching a really dramatic lawyer movie. I mean he has some serious charisma. He told a story revealing the prevelancy of racism in Seattle and encouraging us to all think beyond our assumptions. He called for a Youth Empowerment Movement and asked us all to tell kids we see on the street, "we believe in your potential". Absolutely moving.
Watch a video of James' talk »

Jesse Hagopian
A teacher in the Seattle Public Schools and a member of the ISO
Jesse is one of my favorite speakers, and he didn't fail to make the crowd laugh a lot even while they were listening to shocking statistics. He calls the bailout a "reverse bank robbery" and retorts that he's glad McCain set the record straight about the rumor that Barack Obama was a Muslim by saying, "no he's not, he's a good family man". His offering of real Hope is noting that we've all felt isolated under Bush ("I hate the guy, but no one else seems to!"), but since the excitement about Obama, now we can SEE our brothers and sisters in the fight. Also he makes a joke about white people and pot. :D
Watch a video of Jesse's talk »

Camilo Mejia
The first U.S. soldier to publicly refuse to redeploy to Iraq, and Board Chair of Iraq Veterans Against the War
Camilo walked up to the microphone to chants by the whole theatre of "they're our brothers, they're our sisters, we support war resisters!" I love the ISO's ability to just make that kind of moment happen. I was sort of hoping that Camilo would expound upon his experiences going against the military and how he succeeded in his efforts, but instead he went into a seriously moving and powerful speech about the antiwar movement.
Watch a video of Camilo's talk »

The Dayschool on Sunday brought up a bunch of questions as well, but the most pressing question for me was the issue of lifestyle politics (basically anything you personally do to try to change the world - recycling, buying organic food or growing your own, not using tampons, avoiding flushing the toilet when you pee, boycotting, many etceteras). Can we change the world through individual actions? Most people agreed that we can't, and that mass action (or of course working class revolution) is the solution. However we continued to wonder to what degree these actions can be beneficial both to spreading the word, doing a small part and transforming your own life. I suggested that these actions, if you can afford them in both time and money, can help us become healthier and experience what it might be like in a socialist society to live a more authentic life without the poisons of capitalist society.

I came away with a lot of questions to research and discuss. I learned that it's easier to call someone a liar than to debate with them about it. I was reminded yet again that different people will trust different sources, but that doesn't necessarily translate to them being bad people. I was encouraged to remain open to people to the right of me (Obama supporters for example), but with whom I share many desires. I also learned that when Socialists go to bars sometimes they talk about beards and The Little Mermaid.

Iris Star Chamberlain

The government is blogging?!

2:06 PM

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The new administration already seems to have a more human face than I've seen in my lifetime. Barack Obama talks about change coming from the bottom up, about how change comes not from Washington but to it, and about how he'll be listening to what the people have to say and responding directly to us as best he can. That's something I've never heard nor ever expected to hear in my lifetime. Since I became politicized and subsequently radicalized, I've felt only voiceless. As thought there's no dialog with those in power, as though I have absolutely no power (and being able to vote in a few elections didn't make me feel any better).

I have to say, finding out that there's a blog on change.gov, the "office of the president-elect" online, I'm pretty stunned. Of course, likely the government websites of the past have had updates. But a blog? I mean that really speak's the peoples' language, or at least the young peoples' language. Blogs come off as amateur and immediate, so they seem very transparent. Of course a government blog would be the perfect place to put all of your best lies and misleadings, but the important part to me is the IDEA. The idea that Obama really is listening and talking to us in a way that makes him seem much more accessible than other presidents (or even any other politician). THAT is amazing. THAT will raise expectations from people.

I think there's a real possibility here that after 30 years of disenchantment and demoralization and low activity on a mass scale, that the attitute of Barack Obama, even if everything he said is simply scripted to better market him, the attitude is going to make people feel more empowered. If the president is asking you to join a social movement, hell. We're in a good spot. I hope that expectations will be raised, new possibilities will fill people's heads and that we'll all get our voices back and start shouting and filling the world with songs and chants and dreams and demands.

Iris Star Chamberlain

Racism is Damn Sticky Stuff.

2:50 PM

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Ok. I probably shouldn't even be upset about this because what it really comes down to is an altercation with two complete strangers who were acting damn weird, and were obviously either trying to mess with me, or drunk or on drugs or just... weird.

Still. I think this is the first time I've ever been accused of being a racist and I find it damn ironic that it happened on the way to my car after our weekly socialist discussion. This week's topic was oppression, including sexism, homophobia, ageism, religious intolerance and RACISM. We spent two hours talking about how horrible these ideologies are and how we can overcome them through cooperative struggle.

On the way to my car, two slightly older black guys ask me if I know where the Wild Rose is. I said sorry, I don't live in Capital Hill. And they said you don't understand, YOU are the wild rose! We've been looking for you, now come play pool with us. And I'm smiling and I stop to talk to them, which is more than most people would do, and more than any woman concerned for her safety SHOULD do, but this is a habit I've made: to try to connect with people on the street, even if they're hitting on me, or if they're asking me for money. So I tried. He's going on about the Wild Rose, and I say, "well my name is Iris, so that's pretty funny right?" hoping I can shake hands and be on my way. And one of the guys starts talking about how "they" zapped it into his brain and to look for the girl with the beads (as he's touching my necklaces) and he says come on lets go and takes my arm, and I'm like I'm sorry guys, I'm on my way home to my boyfriend. And the other guy says, "you're a racist". And I'm totally taken aback, and I say "what?! come on...", and he holds his friend in front of me for a good look and says, "seriously, who's more attractive, your boyfriend or this guy?".

Ok. First of all, talk about setting me up. He wasn't attractive, but here I am trying to be nice and just not get into a fight so I'm like "well they're both ok..." and immediately he starts in with a slew of all kinds of words "you are a fucking stupid punk nigga ass (etc) racist BITCH" and I just turn into this child. I've got both hands up to my necklaces and I'm looking down and I'm just going "nooo, nooo, nooo" like a little kid. I felt like all I was trying to do is be nice, I've offered more of myself than anyone else would and I get beat down for it. And so they get sick of this game, and laugh and walk away. And all I want to do is cry.

Again, I know this was just a stupid runin with some assholes. It had nothing to do with race. But I couldn't help think - even if these were weird dudes, they must harbor feelings like that, which is important.

And as a white female, I start down the sticky race road. I'm asking myself what I did wrong. And then I say to myself, "hey wait a minute - doesn't that make THEM racist if they're just assuming that because I'm white and I don't want to go play pool with them that I'M a racist?", which only supports my secret fear that black folk I meet will think I'm a racist, which in itself might be kind of racist. And in the end I'm just confused.

I guess the truth is that I did what I could in the situation and these were just some jerks. It wasn't a serious discussion about race. I wasn't uncomfortable around them because they're black, I was uncomfortable because there were two of them, they're men, they're bigger and older than me, and they confronted me (and then got mad at me - yikes).

I always wish I'd said something else, but I guess it wouldn't have mattered this time.

Iris Star Chamberlain

Nail Polish is an Oppressive Tool of Patriarchy!

10:39 AM

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Haha just kidding. Sorta.
So lately I've been trying to do more... typically "girly" things, like put on nail polish (black in memory of high school) and makeup (I watched a bunch of youtube videos about how to do emo/punk makeup).

The whole freakish thing about how girls put eyeliner BETWEEN THEIR EYE AND THEIR EYELASHES (omg it's scary, and it tickles and hurts at the same time), and the fact that when you do wear makeup, you have to not touch your face all night and then bring all the crap with you in case you mess it up or it starts to come off, and besides the fact that doing eye makeup almost guarantees having an eyelash in your eye by the end of the night, and besides the fact that you have all this crap caked on your face. I mean as long as it looks good right?

Anyway besides all that: NAILPOLISH. I thought it would be easy, for some reason. First of all, it's impossible to put on without having it gob all over the place (ie: not on the nail, where its supposed to be). And then - and here's the oppressive tool of patriarchy bit - you have to NOT DO ANYTHING, not touch anything, basically not use your nail for anything (and they're usually so useful!) because otherwise you start chipping the polish all off.

It's like little corsets for your fingertips.

So let me ask you, seriously, what the hell?

Iris Star Chamberlain